Uninvited Guests
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 11:50PM
Lucy: Hurry up Ethyl, the coast is clear for now. You know how it's like grand central station around here with all the people they got living in that house, you think that lady would have learned about birth control.
Ethyl: Give it a break Lucy.Maybe they are Catholic, you know the big Irish family thing? What about that big black monster, any sign of him?
Lucy: This stuff is so yummy. Those stinkin' birds don't need all of this. Ethyl, quit looking like a deer in the headlights ho.
Ethyl: I'm trying to cut back on this constant grazing. It takes a lot of exercise to work this stuff off, otherwise it goes straight to my hips.
Lucy: Do I need to remind you winter's coming and we need to plump up? Stop your whining, no buck is going to want your bony ass unless you get some meat on it.
Ethyl: Speaking of bucks, where's Ricky?You know he doesn't like us hanging in this neighborhood.
Lucy: What Ricky doesn't know won't hurt him.Don't be such a drama queen, get in here before that black monster hears us out here.
Ethyl: Can you stop stuffing your face for a minute. You watch for the attack bear why I get a few nibbles of the ground here.
Ethyl: DID YOU HEAR THAT???? Oh My God, was that him?
Lucy: I didn't hear anything. Relax, get your fiber on, girlfriend.
Ethyl: I'm telling you I hear something. LUCY... what are we going to do now?
Big Black Bastard: I smell trouble in paradise...hmm
Lucy: RUN Ethyl RUN... RICKYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ethyl: Every man for himself! Last time that thing took a big chunk fur off of me. Hurry Lucy. I told you we should have listened to Ricky.
Big Black: It's those bird food stealing bitches, they are back again. What the hey, you had better run you heifers.
Big Black: Don't mess with me ladies! Gonna get me some cotton tail yet.
The Mayor: COLE!!! Leave it.
The Mayor: I said get in here, leave those deer alone.
Big Black: What? Are you talking to me? I'm just chillin' out here.
The Baby: Mom, let him off his time out. Look at him, I'm sure he didn't mean to chase the deer.
Gramps: It ain't normal for a dog to be that big. I could have used a coon dog that size.
Big Black Bouvier, Virgil, fall in Michigan 
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Reader Comments (8)
My kids would go nuts to have a dog like yours.
Too bad you missed last week's spin! This would have been the perfect photo essay. Love the shot of Cole looking all innocent in the leaves.
We had an armadillo that lived on dog food, The roadrunners will steal dog food, too.
Tree snakes don't eat bird food, but squirrels do. It's lots of fun watching them perform acrobatic acts to try to get to it. I think that's where the term "flying squirrel" came from.
TREE SNAKES? Are you kidding me?
Traipsing along the mountains in NC frequently I am attuned to the snakes on the ground and how to avoid them. But in a tree, now I'm officially freaked out.
That dog is ADORABLE. Absolutely adorable. My favorite is the one of him chilling in the leaves.
cute pics of delicious colicious.
but i think you should let your readers know that cute in appearance does not equal pleasant in smell. he is a gassy mo fo.
How did you get the pictures? I think they're adorable. And so is your protector dog.