Excrement High School Style

This guest post is generously written by my high school aged daughter. When I reviewed her Journalism essay on “Bathroom Etiquette” I said, “I just have to have this for my blog next week while I’m in Chicago”. My little girl’s sensitivity to proper potty hygiene may stem from the time she broke her femur at the tender young age of 1. She spent 6 weeks in a body cast with merely a hidey hole for bathroom purposes.

The student body has lost the administration’s trust to use the bathrooms. We now have the need for cameras and bathroom passes because a small percentage of us cannot be trusted to not write threats on the stalls or vandalize the bathroom in other ways. The school now employs hall monitors because many students cannot just go to the bathroom, office, locker or get a drink without taking an extra long walk or getting lost altogether. Are we still in elementary school?

Many students want more freedom and respect from teachers and the administration. Well maybe you should try earning it by not acting like inconsiderate Neanderthals. Students should be courteous and clean up after themselves when using the bathrooms because nobody wants to clean up your bodily excretions or any other repulsive mess. Why would anyone want to leave their bodily waste floating around in the toilet for the whole school to see? How hard can it be, just flush the toilet! Does anyone really like the sight or smell of poop? But hey if you do, good for you, explore that new hobby at home please.

And boys, word is out that none of your stalls have doors? Why would that be? Maybe because you act like monkeys and hang on them and eventually break them. Do you really want to use the toilet with an absolute lack of privacy? Kind of just like they operate in prison.

Girls, we’re supposed to be all lady-like and clean, stereotypically speaking. Well if that’s true, why are there signs in every stall asking us not to flush our feminine products? Shouldn’t we already be aware of that, being that there’s a trash bin right on the side of every stall just for that purpose. Nobody wants to see that tampon or pad lying on the floor or even floating around in the toilet, take the time to do it right.

By the way, the janitors are not paid by our parent’s taxes to clean up our revolting messes; they’re paid to keep our school premises presentable. These poor people are here from the time we arrive in the morning until about 10 at night. Additionally, there’s only a limited staff on hand, probably five of them working at a time. Have you seen the size of our school? It’s gigantic! You think it’s easy?

You shouldn’t only be courteous while at school, but everywhere you go you should be thoughtful of what those employees have to clean up. I have my own experience to share. I used to work at the mall, right in front of the kids play place. My store provided one unisex bathroom that we shared with the public.

I remember this one insanely busy Saturday, someone defecated all over the wall behind the toilet and on the toilet. It was the most horrifying thing I’d ever seen and smelt. What kind of monster can leave that for people to clean up? Well my store manager did it, thank goodness. Could you even begin to imagine how terrible that would be to clean up?
The janitors have to deal with these types of scenarios daily. So next time, be thoughtful and show some respect for our faculty, fellow students and the people who clean up after us.

Comments

[Kathy]

Okay. Wow. Where to begin?

1. Great picture of Princess #3 and Lucy!

2. Have not seen a spica cast since I was in one in 1969. Did not realize you had a picure of sweet baby girl (she sure was, no?) in hers. Thanks. I will make sure my kids see what I have been talking about all these years. Be assured that #3 looks WAY better in it than I did at 16. Okay so now all the math geniuses out there know my age. Mayor is five years younger. I'm just saying.

3. Glad that the Prince did NOT require one when he broke his femur!!!

4.The topic is awful but she brings up great points.

5. How about if they have bathroom monitors (moms and dads could volunteer - the schools cannot afford to pay for any) that check the stall after a student uses it. Then if they have left the stall the way they found it the student gets to leave the bathroom. Actually that WAS the mom and dad's job. AT HOME WHEN THE KIDS WERE LITTLE!!!

which brings me to...

6. How many boys/guys/men still cannot AIM into the toilet. How difficult can that be?!? Seriously, you shoot and miss you clean up.

Will be looking forward to hearing how the paper is graded. Keep us posted!

See what I am missing now that I have no papers to proof?!?

[Princess # 1]

I see Princess #3 inherited excellent writing skills from her mother. Kudos.

[The Mother]

So true.

Teens scream about not being allowed to do things on their own, and then abrogate their responsibility in the next breath.

It's great to see a teen who understands that.

[the Mayor]

Don't get to excited Mother, she has no problem leaving things (just not poop) for me to clean up, as long as taxpayer dollars aren't paying for it. And she does flush the toilet.

[The Lawyer Mom]

Great essay! Is it going in the school newspaper?

Now I understand why all those mall shops won't let anyone use their bathrooms.

[The Favorite Auntie]

I see hope for our future in essay like this.....
Why is the immaturity always lurking so closely to the top when they speak? The Nault girls should just write ~ sit and look pretty.
Got to Love them!