Did I say VACATION could bring sexy back?

Why do I say absurd things like that? First of all, I have been married to the same man for a longgggg time. I love him dearly but sometimes he annoys me so much I just want to light him on fire. But I can't because I love him, and that would be illegal. We set off this afternoon for a 3 hour 45 minute drive to Chicago to have a visit with our number 1 princess, now ensconced on the 26th floor overlooking the city. I set out driving my 2007 Ford Edge, with a huge sunroof and chrome wheels. I had no intention of him driving,,,, because he is pokey and I am on a schedule for God's sake.

You see when I say , "I'll be there directly, " I mean just that. I like to drive fast, not aggressively so, but I don't like to waste time in the car. Who ever is doing the driving should do JUST that: drive. Not fiddle with the radio, sightsee, try to put your hand in the potato chip bag the kids are eating out of in the seat behind you. Knowing that to stop at a rest stop to pee is taking a big risk that someone else will insist on driving, I held on to all the coffee I drank until the last possible moment. I pulled into the rest stop and was in utter discomfort climbing out of the car because my bladder was screaming at me, "why did you wait so long fool!" So I walked and winced my way into the restroom building and endured one of those," I can't stop peeing episodes." Just when you thought you were done you lean to the left and slightly elevate one hip and before you know it some hidden pee is now flowing out.

I meet up with my gang and of course my guy is like, "let me drive for a little bit, then you can drive when we get to the city." I'm sure I was making a disagreeable face by now but I go along with it. You know how fragile men's egos can be and I am not out to emasculate the sole source of our financial support. So off we go. He likes to ride in the right hand lane even if old ladies in hooptees are passing us. Yeah, the right hand lane where other cars are trying to enter the freeway. "Oh, and look over there at the guy in the parachute, oh, look at all the Blue Angel planes parked over there, it must be the airshow." To which I say, "I'll look and you drive." So on it went like that for the next hour and a half. Now I am getting really antsy because my 3 hour and 45 minute trip looks like it is going to be more like a 4 hour and 30 minute trip.

Luckily, we are staying at my daughters pad so I won't have to enlighten you with the commentary of what is like to stay in a hotel room with Raymondo. But I'll give you a snapshot: AC blasting out arctic mist, takes phone, computer and files into the bathroom, stays for 30-60 minutes in the bathroom. What on earth is going on in that bathroom? Why are there phones hanging on the wall by the toilets in some bathrooms? I don't want to talk to you or anybody else while you are using the potty. And for God's sake don't take the newspaper I want to read into the shit house with you! There will be microscopic fecal  matter all over that thing no matter how careful you are. (Sorry that is my nursing education flaring up again.)

This is the first night of our trip and I do love it here, especially being greeted by my daughter's smiling face. It's going to go uphill from here, right?

Summers In Full Swing

School is out and we have greedily begun scooping in every taste of summer and good weather that we can. That is how it is when you live in Michigan and it’s often grey and inhospitable  weather wise. They days are long and light, especially the further north you wander in the state. We have no grand plans at all except to not get up at 6 a.m. There will be no extravagant vacations planned this year as our Michigan economy sucks. But we will take short trips to see friends and family.

There will of course be a lot of disruption for me, with all these people invading my routine and space I usually claim for myself during the school year. There will also be bickering, chasing and probably a lot worse going on occasionally due to boredom and too much unstructured time on everyone’s hands. Hopefully the fun we find along the way will surpass all that so that I will not want to wrap my head up with duct tape so it doesn’t  explode and make a mess all over.

Sending Alex Off

 

My wonderful nephew Alex graduated from high school and is moving on to Ferris State University in a few short weeks.  I only had to deliver 15 pounds of potato salad for the party as my admission ticket. That would be, of course freshly home made potato salad with new white potatoes, eggs and the works. The weather was lovely and the party was a little on the quiet side until they started playing some college drinking game called “Beer Pong”. I am usually a pretty good aimer, do well at basketball shooting so I agreed to take part. I did have to make a few exceptions and that is #1 I don’t like beer, #2 I am not drinking out of a cup where a ping pong ball that everyone has handled is swimming. It’s a good thing my demands were met before the game because I was one lousy shot. It did not look like it would be hard...but it was.

Bounty & Booty

I have spent years resisting my brother in laws  suggestion that we spend some quality family time at Detroit's Eastern Market.  It goes something like this: "We can all get  up early....." You see he usually loses me right there because after so many years of sleep deprivation and my current struggle with insomnia, "getting up early" is never something I associate with having fun. He's a truck driver for a local company and starts his day on the road before 4 a.m. so his idea of "not too early" is a bit warped. He also is a wanna be tour director, constantly trying to plan and execute excursions whenever we are somewhere out of town together.I find this endearing. The problem is his propensity to try to control every minute detail of said activity down to timing how long we take for bathroom breaks, when and where we can eat and herding us through attractions in unison according to the timetable that exists only in Jeff's head, and this I find extremely annoying. This usually leads me to put on my "you are NOT the boss of me" attitude and I have that down to a science. Let's face it I have had 27 years of learning from the masters (6 of them to be exact) of that subject.

I am announcing it right now, I was wrong to resist this excursion. We recently negotiated a time that was acceptable and trucked on down to the market last Saturday morning. We all had a great time shopping for locally grown produce and visiting various shops to enjoy an incredible selection of cheeses, spices and fresh bakery products. The flower market portion was breathtaking. The vendors are mostly from Michigan, some from Indiana and Ohio and they come in every imaginable shape and form. From grizzly and grumpy to informative to downright showmen. It was all a sight to behold. I feel like I found a treasure 30 minutes out of my suburban zone. I was fascinated by the sights and the BBQ smell going on. I only gave Jeff a half hearted hesitation to go in and have breakfast at one of the local landmarks, Zeff's Coney Island. Within 2 minutes of squeezing us into the 1950's style booth in the back, we were welcomed to share the newspaper and we all got chatting about the newest misdeeds of Mayor Kwame. Breakfast was awesome, especially the spinach and feta omelette.The greek salad was heavenly with this outrageously creamy feta cheese they use. I could watch the line cooks from my seat and all the food coming off of the line looked fresh and good. Nothing fancy going on at this place just plain good freshly cooked food and a lively crowd all squeezed in to enjoy it.

The last  30 minutes was definitely  dedicated to the people watching opportunities  that surrounded us at every turn. I'm  sure in other venues I may have gotten arrested for stalking this family to get  a good picture of the cutest  bum I saw that day,  but what the hey, we are in Detroit. And I am happy to say we enjoyed the historic finds in the hood that particular day. Wouldn't you know it the strangest find I made was to run smack into my next door neighbor whose brother had drug him down there , only they had breakfast at the also well known  Vivios where they are served bloody mary's as well their meal.  I think we will definitely try out that recommendation next time. I could always use a little liquor fortification when dealing with my overbearing cruise director. Imagine his surprise if I broke out singing  "The Love Boat" theme song instead of giving him hell for his bossy technique.

Sunday is NASCAR day

Father’s Day 2008 was a monumental day for all of us diehard Earnhardt fans. Good old Junior won the race at the Michigan International Speedway. After the controversy of leaving his father’s team that is now controlled by his step mama, this was one very sweet win. The worse part is I had stepped out of the room and when I came back in Dale Jr. was crossing the finish line in first place. Imagine my surprise today when I switched on the tv to watch the race at the Pocono race track in Pennsylvania, to find Earnhardt talking about his new sponsor “Go Daddy.com”. I had to mention that in case you all think the only companies interested in NASCAR were Miller Brewing, Home Depot and Viagra.

I have come to really enjoy following the Nascar sport. I only became interested when I realized it was a good topic I could use with my dad. It gives us something to talk about over the phone while he’s in North Carolina. We even join into a big betting pool to  make the race even more personal for us. There, above his entertainment center hangs an authentic framed picture of Dale Earnhardt Sr., signed to my dad. A very kind friend of mine who was a GM executive was so taken with my dad after meeting him  surprised us after the next race, bringing the large picture for Virgil. The picture quickly became more valuable as Dale Sr. died shortly after that at the Daytona 500 (February 2001)race.

Oddly enough I have come to enjoy the traditions associated with the sport and learning about the personalities and families of the drivers. I also love how they gather their family around them before they hop in their car to start the race. A prayer is spoken, the national anthem sung.... and then it’s “GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES!”