Because You Asked For Pumpkin Pie

There are very few recipes I have stuck with over my many years of cooking, I'm fickle that way. Most things I cook repeatedly get tweaked along the way. Actually, I'm a little loose in following a recipe at all. Many of the meals I make don't even have an official recipe, just maybe a list of ingredients.

I part with my typical way of doing things when it comes to a long time family favorite: Pumpkin Pie. Personally I like just about anything pumpkin (pumpkin muffins, pumpkin ravioli, pumpkin ice cream, etc). But when it comes to Pumpkin Pie I prefer the the straight up unadulterated version so I am still making the same pie I learned to make from my Aunt Pat way back in the day.

My mom was not the best of cooks. So during the holidays we would spend the better part of a day at my Aunt Pat's baking an ungodly number of pies, drinking tea and laughing. The air in the kitchen would be awash with flour particles and the aroma of spices and pumpkin. My favorite job was to pinch the pie crust around the top to make that nice scalloped edge. We'd end up with enough pies  for all 7 sisters in their family and close family friends.

In my opinion pumpkin pie should have a firm, custard like consistency with a golden brown sheen in a good solid traditional crust. Nothing fancy or complicated about it. The basis for this recipe is originally off of the Libby's pumpkin can with a few slight alterations.

PUMPKIN PIE

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

2 eggs

1 (15 oz) can Libby's Pure Pumpkin (not the pie mix)

1 (12 oz) can Carnation Evaporated Milk

1.  Preheat oven to 425 F

2.  Combine sugar, salt , cinnamon, ginger and cloves in a small bowl.

3.  Lightly beat eggs in a large bowl, stir in pumpkin, evaporated milk and add spices from bowl.

4.  Pour into pie shell and bake for 15 minutes. Turn oven down to 350 F and bake 45-50 minutes or until pie no longer looks loose in the center when jiggled. Insert a sharp knife in center to test, if it comes out clean it's done. Cool on a wire rack for 2 hours. Serve or refrigerate.

OK, here's my secret. I don't make pie crust anymore. I buy Pillsbury Already Pie Crust from the dairy section. I don't use frozen pie crust in the tin. Nope, I unroll the Pillsbury pie crust and form it in my own glass pie plate making the long practiced scalloped edge.

The thing about pie crust is it can be tricky. It's messy to roll out and it really takes some skill to do it well. Now you can find a basic pie crust recipe, make it, roll it out and it may be better. And it may be a sticky gooey mess. Your choice.

Here's my other, and maybe more important secret: Good freshly made whipped cream and plenty of it. This is no time to get stingy. Best part is that it is simple. First things first: throw your mixing bowl and beaters in the refrigerator and chill them for a good 15 minutes. Now we are ready whip it, just like a pastry chef.

FRESH WHIPPED CREAM

8 ounces of heavy whipping cream

2 to 3 tablespoons powdered sugar

1.  In a chilled bowl (preferable metal) whip cream on high with a mixer with chilled beaters.

2.  When the consistency is a little thicker than sour cream, sprinkle in the powdered sugar while beating, according to taste. I find when using fresh heavy cream not much sweetener is needed.

3.  Beat until it forms a peak when you pull the beater out (turn it off first).

4.  Voila, your done. Promptly refrigerate and keep chilled except when dolloping it on your pie pieces when serving. Use any leftovers in coffee.

Freshly whipped cream is easy to flavor by adding a few drops of an extract (vanilla, maple, lemon,etc). I've also used amaretto and kahlua. You just want a hint of flavor. Maple is especially good with pumpkin pie.Bon Appetit!

Uninvited Guests

Lucy: Hurry up Ethyl, the coast is clear for now. You know how it's like grand central station around here with all the people they got living in that house, you think that lady would have learned about birth control.

Ethyl: Give it a break Lucy.Maybe they are Catholic, you know the big Irish family thing? What about that big black monster, any sign of him?

Lucy: This stuff is so yummy. Those stinkin' birds don't need all of this. Ethyl, quit looking like a deer in the headlights ho.

Ethyl: I'm trying to cut back on this constant grazing. It takes a lot of exercise to work this stuff off, otherwise it goes straight to my hips.

Lucy: Do I need to remind you winter's coming and we need to plump up? Stop your whining, no buck is going to want your bony ass unless you get some meat on it.

Ethyl: Speaking of bucks, where's Ricky?You know he doesn't like us hanging in this neighborhood.

Lucy: What Ricky doesn't know won't hurt him.Don't be such a drama queen, get in here before that black monster hears us out here.

Ethyl: Can you stop stuffing your face for a minute. You watch for the attack bear why I get a few nibbles of the ground here.

Ethyl: DID YOU HEAR THAT???? Oh My God, was that him?

Lucy: I didn't hear anything. Relax, get your fiber on, girlfriend.

Ethyl: I'm telling you I hear something. LUCY... what are we going to do now? 

Big Black Bastard: I smell trouble in paradise...hmm

Lucy: RUN Ethyl RUN... RICKYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ethyl: Every man for himself! Last time that thing took a big chunk fur off of me. Hurry Lucy. I told you we should have listened to Ricky.

Big Black: It's those bird food stealing bitches, they are back again. What the hey, you had better run you heifers.

Big Black:  Don't mess with me ladies! Gonna get me some cotton tail  yet.

The Mayor: COLE!!! Leave it.

The Mayor: I said get in here, leave those deer alone. 

Big Black: What? Are you talking to me? I'm just chillin' out here.

The Baby: Mom, let him off his time out. Look at him, I'm sure he didn't mean to chase the deer.

Gramps: It ain't normal for a dog to be that big. I could have used a coon dog that size.

Is There An Award For The One With The Most Awards?

Isn’t awarding Barak Obama the Nobel Prize a little like awarding a woman pregnant with her first child the Mother of the Year award? Isn’t a wee bit premature?

I can imagine the nominating committee member giving their sales pitch for the 2010 award:

She may indeed have the potential to be the most amazing mother ever. Who better to raise a perfect child than an Ivy league graduate in Child Development? She, above all, understands it takes a village after volunteering at a local youth assistance program for several years. In charge of organizing mentoring teams, she oversaw hundreds of others volunteers in reaching out to troubled families.

Preparing for this new aspect of their lives she and her husband consulted with 5 OB-GYN’s  well before conceiving to make sure she began her journey at the ideal weight and nutritional status. She wants to be sure her choice of medical provider is fully vetted well before the big day. Her well educated group of friends have all agreed she embodies the vision of the ideal mother and have formed a support group to ensure her goal of doing everything exactly right is met.

Did I mention she is HOT? Not only that her character is flawless. She has the patience of a saint, has read multiple books on pregnancy and birth, demonstrates unusual discipline in her nutrition and exercise.

She’s hired a panel of experts in child proofing her home, teaching language to infants, a nutritional expert in the prevention of childhood obesity, a play group facilitator, a conflict manager and is interviewing other parents in her neighborhood to establish a short list of potential bff’s for her yet to be born baby.

She is currently interviewing candidates for a nanny. She and her husband are currently attending 2 different styles of  childbirth classes to make sure all view points on this subject have been included in the birth plan. Counting down to the last month before her baby’s birth she is diligently performing pelvic stretches and preparing her nipples for breastfeeding.

She has been such a source of inspiration to other mothers in her community we on the committee believe we have the makings of  the potential for The Mother of all mothers. And she's not the Octomom nor Sarah Palin.

Click here to refresh your memory of the Mother Of The Year 2009.

Mama's Got A New Bag

 I neither like nor dislike shopping. It is tiresome, I always feel all drug out if I've been out for a few hours in search of something , whether I find it or not. There are just some types of shopping I like better than others. Anything related to the home, I like. I get excited with new products, new designs and I can spend a good amount of time on the hunt.

Grocery shopping is OK. I make quick trips 3-5 times a week. I don't plan meals out very far ahead and I like to use fresh produce. If you want to know more method to my madness check out Grocery Store Whore .

Clothes shopping is a neutral situation that can go down hill at a moments notice. Typically I don't enjoy it unless it is one of those rare times when the stars align and I find what I want in the correct color and size at a price I can live with. I pay attention to fashion trends, but I don't consider myself fashionable.

Under most circumstances I consider any kind of shopping a solitary activity.I don't like distractions while trying to coordinate choices. I'm happy to give someone an opinion, but lollygagging is not my style unless it's with a cocktail at an interesting establishment.  Even when I'm shopping FOR someone, I am big on logging choices with my camera and sending them to the person. If it's an urgent find at Home Goods I'll snap a picture with my phone and send it off hoping for an immediate decision.

Decorating my daughter's apartment recently we started off by choosing this grey sectional and then I was back to Michigan charged with hunting for items necessary to complete the room. As brilliant as my firstborn is she has very little interest in design and limited free time. Armed with a fabric sample of her sofa the search was on. In a reasonable time frame I find what is needed, document it and send it for approval from the one doing the purchasing.

I am the last person you want when it comes to choosing clothes for you, or with you. Of course I have an obligation to accompany my younger children. I'm sure they are longing for the day they can take their own money to the mall without me. I am awful at waiting while they are in the dressing room. I can stay civil through an outfit or two, but then my interest wanes and I become unbearable.

You may think I'm exaggerating but I am not. Typical dialogue while waiting for my daughters to try on jeans (right off you know I'm going to say they are too low cut, too tight, etc) goes like this:

I'll be waiting on the bench a few minutes, maybe make it through one outfit and it begins, "I'm getting bored". That's the signal that I'm going to start getting nasty. "Almost done in there"? "What are you doing in there"? If there's no bench I'm standing outside, " You know I've got varicose veins forming as I stand here at it will be your fault". It's torture, for them and me. I'll gladly clean my own house but please let me pay someone to take them shopping, especially someone with taste they will actually listen to.

It goes without saying that finding a bathing suit is the mother of all bad experiences, closely followed is purse and shoe shopping. They are items of necessity that you want to look good but you need them to WORK. They need to fulfill their purpose and not make you look like you are fashion challenged.

So I'm pleased to announce my discovery of a bag that fits my current criteria. I've had my eye out for the past year as my last cream leather Coach purse started disintegrating. I'm not a change your purse with your outfit kind of gal, I need my purse to work for me and go with my outfits overall.

This Hobo bag, in the color Cognac caught my eye the other day and after I perused the price tag I went in for the kill. I was happy to find pockets and dividers where I they suited me. It's big enough to stuff papers in when needed, carry my trusty blogger equipment of a small notebook and my digital camera. It was not as much as the really expensive bags I was finding to  my liking.

The color goes with my black, blue, chocolate brown and beige coats I wear and I don't mind paying the $200 for something that I am going to use everyday of the year. I had recently purchased a temporary bag from Target and I loved the color but it didn't function very well as it was one big empty cavern inside and I didn't like it's formless flop and sloppy look. So I'll be putting this one up for grabs between all of my girls.

I also experienced a blow to my ego on my last shopping trip. On my list for replacement are my black dress boots I wear with dresses and skirts. They must be cute,wearable and just the right sized heel for my pants. They will be hard to find due to my short leg length a lot of suitable boots come up too high. The sales girl brought me out the perfect looking pair of boots that were good for petites. They felt great on the foot but unfortunately wouldn't ZIP UP over my calf. What, just because I'm petite my legs are supposed be stick like?

I need a nap, this whole story on shopping has exhausted me.

Warning Signs

Anybody else have these signs popping up all over your state? Doesn't it just warm your heart in these tough economic times that our government is hard at work for us, spending stimulus money like drunken sailors on leave, sparing no expense on our behalf? I mean if I could just ponder how special this makes me feel when I lay my head down at night I may not need that blasted little mind scrambling Ambien pill.

Here in our great state of Michigan unemployment has officially hit over 15%. Unofficially, who knows considering that number doesn't include those whose unemployment benefits have been depleted because we were in a "one state recession/depression" for a prolonged period of time before the rest of you lucky people joined us. This has been our state of being for years now and I would venture to say the population is feeling quite beat down by this.

During several interstate road trips the past few months I've noted a more frequent sighting of these road signs that are supposed to be my government's attempt at transparency and positive PR. They are suppose to leave us feeling all warm and fuzzy, reassuring us that some of that stimulus money is reaching the little guy. Well I am just tickled for the road workers who have been hired to work on these projects (at least until the money is all gone). God bless them. Most people in my state are happy to have a job (even if they used to complain nonstop about it).

Let's face it. These are not the jobs we envisioned for our children when we paid for their college educations. Young adults are taking their education and fleeing our state as swiftly as they can in search of gainful, career developing employment. The population of Michigan is shrinking faster than our politician's genitalia.

So I fired up Google in search of the truth about these highway signs that seem to be propagating at an alarming rate. And no, they do not warm my heart. It seems that various states are using part of the funds they receive through the 800 Billion dollar American Recovery and Reinvestment Act to order and install these signs at their discretion. Estimates as to the true costs vary per state (you know the whole union versus non worker thing, cost of living, etc) but installed these little beauties are running $1000 to a whopping $2500 each.

The question remains, are these really cleverly designed taxpayer funded re-election campaign signs? As the Mayor and the mother of practicality I have to give the administration some props for achieving a double purpose with these slogan inspired marketing tools. That's where the love ends, especially after spying these within walking distance of my doorstep (asking your forgiveness on the poor quality of this picture I braved a thunderstorm for):

These TWO (think $3000) separate signs at one obscure intersection near my home (upgrading drainage and filling pot holes) made me feel like I was getting a sharp stick in the eye. It's kind of like the government giving me the giant middle finger whether I turn north or east upon leaving my neighborhood. At the risk of sounding a wee bit schizophrenic it's as if they are saying, "not only are we over taxing you and creating an incredible debt load for your future grandbabies, we are going to spend the money however we want, because we can, and rub it in your face every stinking time you leave your subdivision".

Before I become a total Debbie Downer, let me share this little tidbit of hope and change with you all. Part of this smartly designed symbol includes a federal website that has just been updated to the tune of 18 million (can you say s-t-i-m-u-l-a-t-e?)  Can you believe this, they provide a pull down menu where they encourage us to report waste, fraud and abuse! The renowned information highway has arrived at our door and parked at our fingertips at www.recovery.gov. They must have been reading my mind.

So you know what I did? I got on that website directly and let them know about the fraud, waste and abuse that got my panties all in a twist. This is a summary of my complaint on the form that they supplied online and brilliantly named Complaint Form:

Was there any signage displayed to indicate the project is financed by ARRA funds? Yes, actually 2 of them on one single intersection of a tertiary road near my home.

Who committed the alleged misconduct/wrongdoing? My state and federal government as far as I can tell, abetted by those of us who voted them into office.

Victims and witnesses? My children and I

What exactly did the individuals do that was wrong? Wantonly wasted precious tax dollars in the manufacturing and installation of road signs that are unnecessary,egotistical and self congratulatory in nature.

When did the misconduct occur? I began noticing these signs in August 2009.

Where did the misconduct/wrongdoing occur? Here in my home town at the intersection 1/2 mile from my home. Also on I-75 in Ohio, also on I 90-94 in Chicago, also in highway 71 in North Carolina.

How was the misconduct committed? (ie. falsifying documents, etc.)I'm not sure what documentation was involved, but it certainly could be construed as offering the populous a FALSE sense of security, FALSE hope and a misguided view of job creation.

Do you have first hand knowledge of the misconduct/wrongdoing? Hell to the YES (excuse my French all my NASCAR watching has had a rudimentary affect on my word choice lately). I saw the signs with my own eyes and even took pictures of them. I'll attach them to the complaint if I can figure out how to.

Who else might be aware of this misconduct/wrongdoing? Oakland County residents, long haul truck drivers, tourists, car poolers, emergency vehicle drivers of various occupations.

If you are willing to be interviewed concerning this matter please provide your name, address, telephone number and email address: I am just letting you know, I am on the national do not call list. I'm sure you could easily send someone out to view signs in various parts of the country, or send a military drone or satellite to send you pictures directly. If there is anyone in this department really tech savvy they could probably use some kind of I-phone app to locate all the signs throughout the country.

There you have it, my civic duty in this case is done. The depressing part is although I think I have a valid complaint about the waste of money concerning these signs, I'm sure the amount is miniscule compared to larger scale fraud and waste that will undoubtably be found during the implementation of this program. To add to that dark cloud of thought I just read that on Sept. 16, 2009 the senate rejected a proposal to stop stimulus advertising.