You've Got To Love The South

I’m giving you a fair warning, just reading this could cause weight gain:

  5 Riverside Drive is not the easiest place to find. It was on one of those roads winding along a river. When it comes to hunting and foraging I’m pretty tenacious and we wanted these ribs in a fierce way. A less committed person (like a man) may have given up or not attempted the mission at all without the aide of GPS. We smelled the aroma before we rounded the last bend finding The 12 Bones Smokehouse, Asheville, NC  and we were full of great expectation.  I was feeling a bit disheveled after spending the day exploring the nearby waterfalls, being exposed to a fine mist in addition to it being a cloudy, drizzling kind of day.

There’s so much to decide but with the guidance of a staff member we ordered the blueberry-chipotle and brown sugar dry rub ribs, along with BBQ brisket, jalapeno cheese grits, mashed sweet potatoes, corn pudding and a wedge salad. We planned to cart off enough food to feed a small army back at the house. I started to wander around following the wait staff bringing food out to some tables. I was trying nonchalantly to snap a few pictures of these plates while my daughter kept giving me the cut it out sign and patted the barstool. She accused me of behaving like a Japanese tourist taking pictures of every fart and fiddle I passed by.

Like an obedient mother, I climbed up on the stool and perused the beer menu perplexed as I am not much of a beer drinker.The bar guy come over to take our beer order and I couldn’t help notice how ruggedly adorable he was. I asked him if any of his beers were similar to Blue Moon. He gave me a crooked smile and a  little attitude as he said, “ How about the Wit beer, as long as you can drink it without the orange.” I know when I’m being ridiculed (he’s thinking who is this Yankee chick that’s going to be all high maintenance)? I  flashed him my most provocative smile and slid my SassTown.com business card over the bar to him and pretended like I always socialized so smoothly.

Somehow in a few minutes I had raised his opinion of me and  he became engaging, interested and the man could definitely talk and work at the same time. My quiet prodding yielded the info I was burning  for. Despite their fame from winning Good Morning America’s “Best Bites” award, a much publicized visit from then candidate Obama, and their popularity with the locals, the  profit driven marketeer in me couldn’t help wonder about their limited hours of business. Turns out it is a combination of business philosophy, lack of space for expansion and their location in a warehouse district which isn’t very populated after work hours.

To top off the perfect find of great food at a good price our new friend also gave us the hottest in the know tip for the  food adventurer that I have ever gotten. He very casually inquired if we had ever been to The Admiral in West Asheville? As we had not, we were informed about this non touristy hole in the wall place where some interesting drink and incredible food could be had. We were hooked and put it on the planner for the next evening. Back at my Dad’s place we enjoyed our booty from 12 Bones Smokehouse and fed 8 people plus had leftovers for $99. Everything about the food was fully satisfying to this here Yankee.

 The following evening after a day of family fun we made our excuses and hit the West Asheville area in search of The Admiral. It is a more crusty side of town, not the area tourists are regularly routed too. It is more like the working man’s business area, peppered with dive bars, a lumber yard, auto repair garages and a lot of small independent businesses. The very small parking lot was full, so we had to street park a few blocks down. I felt slightly uneasy walking back to The Admiral because I’m a weenie when it comes to wandering in unfamiliar areas that are a little bit gritty. Using a little common sense we were perfectly fine, but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a crowd was going to be inside the place.

I couldn’t have imagined it. Entering the dive bar chic establishment  I pretended to be totally confident (you know the fake it until you make it philosophy) as we walked through the dimly lit table area and on up to the bar. I couldn’t help but notice the table full of biker looking fellas I had to squeeze past on my way. Despite my sassy sundress they didn’t seem to give me one bit a notice as they were too busy enjoying food that was definitely incongruous with the surroundings. I’m  talking about grilled scallops over jasmine rice, rib eye steak with perfectly roasted and crisp fingerling potatoes, delicate frog legs and a delicious looking fish sandwich on ciabatta with an arugula salad on the side. At the next table an older trio were looking thoroughly satisfied with a concoction I later learned were the best Pub style bangers and mash.

We made our way to some seats at the bar next to the open kitchen where everyone was moving at a pretty fierce clip you don’t see all the time in the south. Our bartender was striking in a I don’t wear much make up kind of way (damn her)and quickly sold us on the special cocktail of the night: Watermelon-basil elixir with ginger, lime and citron Stoli. Holy mama it was the kind of drink that could lead the most straight laced gal astray, arriving home missing her panties. And looking around at the crowd I’m sure there were more than a few males that would have been very obliging to any hanky panky we could have suggested.

Despite the most eclectic looking group of  patrons it was a completely satisfying evening with enough going on to keep me interested but nothing alarming. After an hour some of the middle aged diners left and a bit more of a rabble rousing 30ish crowd trickled in. Tattoos, denim and t-shirts were the common denominator. We chatted with the staff and quietly observed the most unpretentious bar serving up some seriously bad ass food (meaning Anthony Bourdain kind of good).

The small plate of sliced breast of duck on top of what was described as gazpacho of edamame and just picked jewel tomatoes proved to be a downright sultry experience. Shortly before we left one of the staff sat down at the bar beside me doodling over the plain photo copied menu and I politely inquired if they were changing up the menu. Chef Drew as it turns out, laughed and said he tweaked the menu daily according to his whims and what they scored at the farmer’s market .

About the only complaint I could find in the subsequent reviews of the place is that you never know what’s going to be on the menu and if you are silly enough to fall in love with a particular item you may be disappointed if it disappears for a time before it shows back up. Definitely worth a walk on the wild side.

Now I've Had The Time Of My Life....

 And I owe it all to you....What woman hasn't fantasized about being the female that leaps into Patrick Swayze's waiting ripping with muscles arms?

I have been a long standing fan of Patrick Swayze and feeling so sad that one of the few celebrities I truly liked has passed away. My favorite movies of his include Dirty Dancing, Ghost, The Outsiders,Red Dawn and not to be forgotten his movie debut as a cross dresser: Too Wong Foo.

Can any of us forget the squeeze we felt in our heart as Johnny charges over to the table and reaches for her saying, "Nobody puts baby in the corner"?

At our house every eye in the house can't resist stopping whatever they are doing to watch this climactic scene.

About a year after this movie and the music became popular my cousin Jim returned from the Navy to marry his sweetheart Alicia. They shocked us all at the reception when the dj put the famous song on and they danced and sung to each other for their first dance. Of course they didn't do the infamous lift at the end, even though the bride was an itty bitty thing. I suppose she could have jumped on his back and rode him around like a spider moneky on the dance floor but that may not have looked so good in a wedding dress.

Later on during my travels to North Carolina I visited the resort area of Lake Lure, North Carolina to learn about the filming process they used to make the movie in this idyllic mountain paradise.

Turns out the filming there wasn't ideal, it was very rainy and as a result delays occurred. Hollywood used a lot of local talent to help fill in the cast. Many of the dancers we saw humping their way though the movie were local theatre students.

I read recently that the town of Lake Lure was holding an honorary memorial service to celebrate Mr. Swayze's contribution to the area.

My vote for the most truly sensuous scene would have to be the pottery scene in Ghost with Demi Moore. I loved the chemistry between this pair not to mention their interaction with Whoppi Goldberg in this movie.

By the time Swayze made this film he had fully developed that mature manned sized muscled body that had females all over the globe swooning.

One of the sweetest things I observed in recent years was when Swayze surprised guests on Oprah who were practicing to use the famous dance from Dirty Dancing as their first dance in their wedding. Onto the stage walks THE MAN that none of the mere mortal grooms could ever compare to. The audience went wild and Swayze took a few of the future brides through those famous steps right there on Oprah's set. It was very touching.

When Swayze's new series The Beast began filming in Chicago 18 months ago my daughter had just moved from NYC to Chicago so there was a lot of buzz about the show, his cancer, their plans for the series. There were a lot of sightings around Chicago of Swayze and his wife. When it debuted on TV I watched intently but I never did warm up to the show. The characters didn't grow on me and it seemed that there never was an explanation of the back story to make the viewers feel like they knew who to root for. I guess that is all moot now.

From the Mayor's household we all say God Bless You Patrick Swayze and may you rest in peace.

The Mayor Takes A Free Ride

Or The Wily Temptress does Chicago with a gang young enough to be her children. Oh, wait, they are her children: 

The female chatter in the car helped the drive to the windy city pass quickly. All the way from Detroit in 3 1/2 hours to sitting on the freeway for 35 minutes only 5 miles from our destination. The secret to doing a quick weekend away is to leave by noon and arrive in time to settle in and prepare to get the most out of your 2 nights away.

That means food and your pre-night on the town cocktails. Being the practical woman I am, I had drug all of the ingredients for dinner in my cooler. It wasn't mommy benevolence that motivated me to plan ahead. I didn't need ESP to know my daughter would slink in from a week of travel for work and need to be revived if she were to be any good to us at all.

Chicken breasts were thrown on the grill and pasta was quickly made with an overpriced but yummy jar of Williams-Sonama's Creamy Florentine Sauce. Some of those good old North Carolina tomatoes were sliced up, seasoned and we had a fantastic meal to go along with our our sassy margaritas. We sipped and people watched from the second floor balcony fabricating stories about the people passing by.

Feeling refreshed we spilled out onto the sidewalk in the cool night air and off we went to find fun in the Fulton Market District. And I assure you there is plenty of fun to be found there. We ventured deeper into the Meat Packing district to the children's favorite low key hang out, The Fulton Lounge.

Justin, a gorgeous young man welcomed us at the door and asked for ID. "Surely you don't need mine young man." I do believe he was flirting with me when he said, "Missy, that most definitely means you too." He said it in such a sincere way that I took a liking to him right there on the spot. He smoothly chatted us to the perfect area in the lounge for our group of 6.

The lounge is situated in a hundred year old building, a former book binding factory just a few blocks north of restaurant row on Randolph making it a perfect place for before or after dinner drinks. Even though the space is urban and expansive it's thoughtfully furnished to provide a low key vibe, totally sophisticated but not pretentious in any way. Music plays in an unobtrusive way and the staff is attentive without taking over the show.

I like a place that knows it's mission and sticks to it. I'd surmise there objective is to have an environment that's conducive to intimate conversation and cocktailing within the community. I had a hard time choosing from their unique martini menu but I went with the Fulton Essence. It was made with Sky Melon Vodka, watermelon elixir, home made sour and fresh lime. The night was off to a great start.

I was reluctant to leave as soon as we did but I had given control of our travels over to the locals. Next thing I knew they popped us all in a Taxi to head over to the River North District's hot spot of the evening, Zed 451. I moaned a bit about not staying in their neighborhood so we could walk around instead of paying cab fare and they were all, "don't worry mom we'll get the Zed bus to take us home." I know when my leg is being pulled but I just let it go because I was determined to milk every drop of enjoyment out of the evening.

When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. Zed 451 had a wonderful mojo going on. It was energizing but not overwhelming with a constant flow of different groups coming and going on their way to somewhere else.We ordered up a plate of Spicy Chicken Empanadas with dipping sauce. They were a great taste bud tease arriving piping hot and crispy.

The bartenders know how to handle themselves and keep things moving which really is a feat when you observe them making their specialty cocktails.

They have a a juicer built into the bar where as quick as a wink they'll have whatever fresh juice needed for your selection squeezed into their magic mix and served up in a perfectly chilled glass.

I was sorely tempted by our friendly bartender to try the Blueberry Thyme martini, but I had already committed to trying the Kiwi Basil Martini.  As he chatted with my daughter I realized he was retelling the incident that had occurred the weekend before when another visitor of my daughters got involved in some loud drama with her jerky boyfriend.

We piled back out into the lovely summer night air and was about to suggest we do a little city strolling. But  what to my wondering eyes does appear? There really is a Zed bus, willing and able to drive us back to the apartment. It felt totally decadent to be carted home in our very own bus.

We offered to bring our driver down some freshly baked banana bread and a couple of North Carolina tomatoes but he thought I was just being polite. I guess he doesn't read Sasstown or he'd know I don't say things I don't mean and I really appreciated the Free Ride.

Which led me to think about that old Edgar Winter song, Free Ride. Click hear to see the psychedelic You Tube of the official 70's party song. We were a little delirious by this time since we had all been up since dawn to make this trip happen to celebrate my sister in law's 65th birthday. The night was topped off at home with a crazy little dance party. A week later and I'm still recovering.

Perfect End of Summer Feast

This old dog has learned a few new tricks this summer. We decided to delve further into our summer roots and explore some southern classics cuisine wise. I had no choice, I told the boys who had been courting me since my arrival on their turf to bring on the harvest and prove they were serious. Yes this is the continuation of the N.C Road Trip saga.

And so they did. To my surprise I might add because sometimes these good old country boys can be all talk. Bring it they did. Good old North Carolina tomatoes, Stripy boys, green tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, okra, sweet corn. After my car was filled with boxes of produce we took advice on how to cook these delectable delights. My cousin David, who is kin to the Master of the Universe, confided to me that I needed to use just the right ratio of flour to cornmeal to perfect the fried green tomato.

I nodded my agreement and then he leaned in even further to quietly persuade me to come on up to his house where he had an extra bag of extra special southern style white cornmeal. So later that evening I did just that, I wandered up the hill to share a cup of sweet tea and some cooking secrets with this rugged war veteran, mountain man kind of cousin and I left for Michigan the next day with my supplies.

I'm ashamed to admit that I'd never eaten or made fried green tomatoes all these years. My Yankee mother had prejudiced me from such things  and as a child I would turn my nose up at these southern delights. I should have known better because although I absolutely adored my mother, she was never known for her cooking abilities. So, I guess now I am making up for lost time in preserving the southern heritage up here north of the Mason-Dixon line.

These beauties were our first attempt and I have to be honest to say that my daughter (who actually is a Pastry Chef) fried these big boys to perfection. The timing was perfect too. It was a Tuesday afternoon when we arrived home from our road trip. They had already planned a simple feast of delmonico steaks with pats of garlic butter accompanied by grill roasted asparagus, mushrooms and peppers. I suggested (quite rightly I might add) that in addition to their preparations we should include tomatoes (both the fried green variety and some ripe red sliced). And voila! The perfect end of summer feast.

There is one small problem (those sweet little bless your heart southern ladies never clue you in about) with my effort to eat my way through the south last month, in utter abandon of my common sense. I have managed to gain around 7 pounds and that is no good for my wardrobe so I'm going to have to double down on my eating and exercise disciplines cause mama don't want to have to buy the next size up!

Asheville, North Carolina

Warning: I had every intention of regaling y'all with my traveling anecdotes chronologically. I thought I could really raise my esteem in the eyes of my peers (oh my, how industrious is she?) but like most women with a myriad of responsibilities my plan went to hell when my dad with whom I stayed on days 4-8 didn't have any internet connection and we kept way too busy having fun to frequent the nearby coffee shop that did. To top that off on the last day of our trip my power connection for my lap top (containing many photos I NEED) malfunctioned and I am awaiting my trip to the Apple genius bar tomorrow to fix it. So now you'll have to take it out of order...

Road Trip Days 5-7: Sunken in the middle of the Smokey Mountains is the beautiful city of Asheville. I drive about 8 minutes down the mountains from my family property in the Beaverdamn Gap and another 8 minutes into the city and I am  in the midst of the most bohemian place you could imagine.

I promise I will absolutely make your mouth water and you may even gain a few virtual pounds when I can access my laptop and share all the delicious culinary delights to be had in Asheville.

My people are mountain people. They are not city people but I crave both. You know how I hate indecisiveness but I love staying up the mountain and driving down to the city for the stimulation I require. There are so much to appreciate about both.

My dad doesn't really comprehend it because he would be happy to avoid the city at all costs but he usually allows me to drag him around wherever we want to go for two or three days before he declines the offer to join us on our outings. He really loves when we return from out escapades with funny stories or yummy food we have found on our journey.

Once you get down the "hill" to the city you'll find a unique mix of  down home friendliness and urban sophistication. I think that is one of the draws for such a wide range of people you will find inhabiting, touring and retiring to this area. Not to mention the inexhaustable opportunities for outdoor recreation and the moderate 4 season climate. It is a prime example of the south with a diverse mix of folks with differing skin color, religions, political beliefs and socio-economic statuses. 

 There of course is plenty of controversy as migration to this area increases and development occurs. You'll find the typical battle of business trying to capitalize on the area's resources versus the environmentalist (close the door and lock it after you have found your personal piece of heaven) going on. I find the diversity and controversy stimulating due to my "smart growth" practical philosophy of life. I appreciate a workable approach to these things. I have a strong belief in respecting the environment and mother earth but not putting up stubborn roadblocks to expansion.

Sustainable is the new key word in our world and it is in Asheville too. I have no argument with that at all although I get the feeling it will soon be an over used label in our contemporary vocabulary that we all may become desensitized to like so many other good concepts. The economically responsible shopper in me was disappointed to find the prices at some of the boutiques that advetise social responsibility to be so out of touch of with the income level of the local population.

I find it ironic strolling through town multiple days in one week I found the same townies sitting out front of businesses that proclaim to be organic, sustainable and environmentally responsible smoking cigarettes and tossing their butts into the streets of this otherwise pretty little city with so much to offer.