Agony At Any Age (aka Swimsuit Shopping)

Summer has arrived here in Michigan and along with it the inevitable need to bathing suit. Can you think of anything that is less exciting than that? I had procrastinated as long as I possibly could and seeing that my 2 youngest no longer possess a suit that fits I went shopping with them (kicking and screaming).

In all fairness, I’m not a fun person to shop with (see Abercrombie’s a Bitch). To me it seems more like a solitary endeavor. Waiting for others to try on clothes in a dressing room is torturously boring. When the subject is bathing suits and adolescents you can multiply that agony. Unfortunately these 2 girls aren’t old enough to drive and don’t have their own credit cards so there was no escaping this adventure.

I was lured into Hollister by my teenage fashionista with the promise of bathing suits being on clearance. Having no one to blame but myself, I shouldn’t have been appalled by the young girl doing the triple duty of folding, greeting and security for the front of the house. She greeted me with the ridiculous but customary “What’s up”? I cautiously followed my offspring on in to the the cavelike retail establishment.

I give you exhibit A

Exhibit B

I know, it’s hard to decide if I’m exaggerating or not due to the darkness of the photos (forgot my night vision scope in the car) but that is my point exactly. It’s too dark and cluttered in the place to really examine the merchandise. And if you are over 40 it’s questionable as to whether you’ll be able to read the confounded price/ size tag. I will say that I did enjoy their music selection and the very cool screens built into the walls that identify the artist and song title. That was the last example of clever design I saw that day.

I underestimated the challenge, frustration and angst involved in this particular shopping expedition with my daughters. They may be only 15 months apart in age but they could not be more different in personality and appearance. The youngest is still sporting a short childlike figure that could be described as husky. She also possesses a lovely head of hair that most females envy, fine pored and clear skin and lovely almond shaped brown eyes. It was very painful to see her realize that most of the contemporary bikinis were not going to work for her figure at all. We settled on a very sporty tankini by Nike and she seemed content with that but I also saw the disappoinment of having to try on so many suits that emphasized the parts of her body that do not fit with the images of Seventeen magazine.

The slender, leggy one faced her own challenges. She inherited my husbands family tendencies toward a larger nose, big pores and migraine headaches. Being reed thin we found most of the bikinis that didn’t fall off of her did not adequately cover the well developed aspects of her figure. She looks and is built far more maturely than her 13 years. Most of the suits that fit her left her too scantily clad for her age. Any age really. What are these designers thinking anyway? I would think bathing suits should not threaten to expose your covered body parts with the slightest of activity known to keep us slim and healthy. Nasty attitudes prevailed. Why does this have to be such an unsettling experience?

You would think with my years of experience I could handle these situations with more finesse. After countless trips to shop for girls in various stages of physical development I should have easily been able to be supportive yet tactful in my assistance. Not so much. I won’t admit it in court but I just don’t know how to take these girls bathing suit shopping and have them emerge with their self esteem intact.

Now that I’ve had time to ponder I guess it’s part of the female experience in todays culture of perpetual youth and hyper-sexualization in all forms of self expression. From clothing to music, dance and entertainment we are bombarded with a tidal wave of expectations that most surgically unaltered physiques will never meet. For now I will keep finding ways to remind my daughters that everyone has different attributes and we need to make the most of what we have within the perimeter of living a healthy lifestyle. Is that tactful enough?

Should have had more boys, bathing suit shopping would be a snap.

Diary of a Surprise Birthday Cake

We have a resident pastry chef in house, my # 2 daughter.

She's pictured here with 2 of her sisters. Princess #1 who is the oldest. And her youngest sister, Miss D. Don't they just look fabulous? But that's not the point of this story. It began as a way to surprise me when I arrived home from Chicago where I had been celebrating my birthday with my 2 oldest kids who live there. We left the middle team home to hold down the fort and took the youngest 2 along for the ride.

It starts with the thought, the idea. So a recipe is found and the ingrediants are purchased.The process is started. This particular cake was the brainchild of my daughter who is a pastry chef in life, wanting to surprise me on my return from Chicago. Most of the concepts she learned at home, from me. Training as a chef enhances her skills and she secretely loves being able to one up me in the kitchen.

You have to love a Kitchen Aid mixer, the workhorse of baking. I have to admit it's looking good already. This was a birthday gift for the chef, since green is her favorite color. Mine is boring white, so we are using hers instead right now.

It’s all in the details. Cooking and baking can be kind of boring if you let it be. You can turn on Food Network on the kitchen tv. Better yet, just as I trained her, you can break open a bottle of wine and turn some tunes on. You can dance between tasks. A really mundane task can turn into a spectacular time. See how perfect the color and texture of the batter is?

When you’re baking a cake for this mama it’s going to have to have some home made buttercream frosting. It cannot be beat . I’m a frosting person and I prefer it heaped on.

Cleaning is not my pastry chef’s favorite past time but she does understand the importance of tidying up the equipment. She also understands her mother enough to know the surprise of the cake will be enhanced greatly if the kitchen is clean.

This girl knows how to frost a cake. Use the right tools. Same thing that’s true if you’re painting, cutting crown molding, installing ceramic tile. It’s all about the tools. Luckily her
culinary education included a nifty set of knives and tools. If you’ve ever watched Top Chef on Bravo you’ll notice each time someone is eliminated they roll up their knives and tool kit and head home.

My plated 3 layer Red Velvet cake with fluffy buttercream frosting. Ta da.

This mama thoroughly enjoyed the surprise of arriving home to a clean orderly house with a nice cake waiting for us. It put the icing on my whole birthday weekend. We felt a little worse for wear when we arrived home after 4 1/2 hours in the car, but I perked up enough to smile for this picture.

Much thanks to the chef and her photographer who make a photo journal of this process for her journalism class.