Excrement High School Style

This guest post is generously written by my high school aged daughter. When I reviewed her Journalism essay on “Bathroom Etiquette” I said, “I just have to have this for my blog next week while I’m in Chicago”. My little girl’s sensitivity to proper potty hygiene may stem from the time she broke her femur at the tender young age of 1. She spent 6 weeks in a body cast with merely a hidey hole for bathroom purposes.

The student body has lost the administration’s trust to use the bathrooms. We now have the need for cameras and bathroom passes because a small percentage of us cannot be trusted to not write threats on the stalls or vandalize the bathroom in other ways. The school now employs hall monitors because many students cannot just go to the bathroom, office, locker or get a drink without taking an extra long walk or getting lost altogether. Are we still in elementary school?

Many students want more freedom and respect from teachers and the administration. Well maybe you should try earning it by not acting like inconsiderate Neanderthals. Students should be courteous and clean up after themselves when using the bathrooms because nobody wants to clean up your bodily excretions or any other repulsive mess. Why would anyone want to leave their bodily waste floating around in the toilet for the whole school to see? How hard can it be, just flush the toilet! Does anyone really like the sight or smell of poop? But hey if you do, good for you, explore that new hobby at home please.

And boys, word is out that none of your stalls have doors? Why would that be? Maybe because you act like monkeys and hang on them and eventually break them. Do you really want to use the toilet with an absolute lack of privacy? Kind of just like they operate in prison.

Girls, we’re supposed to be all lady-like and clean, stereotypically speaking. Well if that’s true, why are there signs in every stall asking us not to flush our feminine products? Shouldn’t we already be aware of that, being that there’s a trash bin right on the side of every stall just for that purpose. Nobody wants to see that tampon or pad lying on the floor or even floating around in the toilet, take the time to do it right.

By the way, the janitors are not paid by our parent’s taxes to clean up our revolting messes; they’re paid to keep our school premises presentable. These poor people are here from the time we arrive in the morning until about 10 at night. Additionally, there’s only a limited staff on hand, probably five of them working at a time. Have you seen the size of our school? It’s gigantic! You think it’s easy?

You shouldn’t only be courteous while at school, but everywhere you go you should be thoughtful of what those employees have to clean up. I have my own experience to share. I used to work at the mall, right in front of the kids play place. My store provided one unisex bathroom that we shared with the public.

I remember this one insanely busy Saturday, someone defecated all over the wall behind the toilet and on the toilet. It was the most horrifying thing I’d ever seen and smelt. What kind of monster can leave that for people to clean up? Well my store manager did it, thank goodness. Could you even begin to imagine how terrible that would be to clean up?
The janitors have to deal with these types of scenarios daily. So next time, be thoughtful and show some respect for our faculty, fellow students and the people who clean up after us.