The New Normal

We leisurely occupied a table for eight at a nice local lunch place. We laughed and the conversation flowed naturally. The atmosphere was infectious with good cheer and our waiter doted on us. Even though the restaurant carried Pepsi product she showed up with Coke for the 2 ladies who have discerning palates when it comes to their carbonated beverages. Ordering was a bit mundane, repetitious with all of our cups of butternut squash soup and house salads. One of the ladies had requested separate bills and I just rolled my eyes thinking what a female move that had been.

I recognized the waiter as a guy who’s been there a while and is good at his job. Looking around, I noted that the restaurant had a typical number of patrons for a Wednesday afternoon. Everything just seemed so normal.This is one of my favorite local restaurants. I have been holding a grudge against them since they took my favorite dessert off the menu: chocolate Khulua bread pudding with a carmel sauce. It’s been over a year and I have refused to have another dessert and let them know why. I tend to only eat things I really like.

One of my friends was on a really tight schedule for the afternoon so she spoke to the waiter and he brought her bill out promptly when he saw she was finishing up. She hurriedly opened the check holder to insert her credit card and just at that moment before she closed it she caught sight of the total. Her eyes got big and she took a deep breath and looked up with a look I recognized right away.

You know, that “holy mother I am in a hurry and the waiter gave me the check for the whole table and now what am I going do”. After all the rest of us lollygaggers had not really finished eating yet and trying to get a table of woman to settle up a bill quickly...well there is nothing quick about that plan. So when she looked up and gulped, the other end of the table burst out in laughter. Then James, our waiter, handed her the separate bill and we all laughed. Then she said something very profound, “ A year ago I would have just put my card in and paid it without a second thought, just as a nice gesture.”

That was then, this is now.

Our old normal was just building a life responsibly.Here is the Detroit area, in an affluent suburb with nice homes, good schools and safe streets. We are basically a hard working, family oriented community. A very large portion of our local economy is automotive related and has been since the baby boomer age began. Many paychecks come to our zip code from the Big 3, and also from the several Japanese auto companies that have placed headquarters here. People have faithfully put in years at companies, built their careers, were careful to have financial planning, college funds for their kids and 401K accounts in order.

Things have changed, mostly beyond any of our control. Our home values have fallen roughly 50% in the past 3 years. Many of the breadwinners here have already faced layoff. Many more are in a state of perpetual anxiety, knowing the secure job they had is now just hanging by a thread. Many more who are still sure their jobs are secure are secretly doubting it. Because as people lose their health and dental insurance, as local communities have their revenues diminishing because homes are not being bought and sold, tax liens are piling up, foreclosures are on the rise.... not only does that then affect local businesses, but also our health care industry and there will be far less money to pay for the excellent city services we are used to. A decreasing population and the tax revenues also means there will eventually have to be cut backs in education.

So we are all adjusting to the new normal. Depending on how drastically your family has been hit dictates the level of change in lifestyle that needs to be made. Even the most securely employed are being cautious because everyone knows what is now happening across our nation is not a good thing. People are definitely scrutinizing budgets and cutting back their spending. We are all examining priorities, plans and making adjustments.

Back at our lunch table sat a group of people who share a common faith and despite their circumstances chose to celebrate time together. Our group consisted of people who had plenty of things to be in despair about. Joblessness, depression, marital woes,kid problems, serious illness and a big dose of uncertainty. No one sat there looking miserable. We were all there to shore each other up. It’s going to take a lot of that to navigate our way through all the changes that have occured in our community and the ones yet to come.