48 Hour Leave Of Absence

Alternative titles: How to Blitz Chicago In 48 Hours. How To Spend Quality Time With Adult Children.

Day 1:

1. Pick up new car from Ford dealer at 3:30 p.m.
2. Drive like a bat out of hell to try and make it to Chicago before the Wings game starts.
3. Arrive to the West Loop apartment at 7:40 p.m.
4. Wow doorman with my new ride, unload car and park in deck lot.
5. Greet my Smart Cookie daughter.
6. Saunter over to Vivo for a fantastic meal (chargrilled asparagus with shaved parmesan, shrimp/basil linguine and a fillet to split) and outstanding bottle of Zinfandel). It's a sure bet for a nice meal in a swanky setting on Randolph Street.
7. Stumble down Randolph back to apartment.
8. Check out Conan O’Brian in his new role as host of the Tonight Show.
9. Fall asleep relatively early(1 a.m.) since all had put in a full day.

Day 2:

1. Answer the phone at 5:30 a.m. when my baby calls from home while getting ready for school (6:30 a.m. in Michigan).
2. Tell her “have a good day but DON’T CALL BACK UNLESS SOMEONE IS BLEEDING”.
3. Return to sleep.
4. Arise, slip on exercise clothes and go for a brisk walk on my own, hitting Starbucks on the way home.

5. Exclaim how the same latte I get in Michigan for $3. 60 is $4.07 here.

6. Meet up with the 2 adult children and decide to go out loafering about, shopping and lunching for the afternoon.

7. Walking along the river, appreciating the boats and architecture.

8. Stop by the University Of Chicago Graduate Business School book store for a license plate holder for my new car. I figure I ought to get as much milage as I can out of having my first born in one of the most prestigious MBA programs (even though her employer, not parents are paying for it).

9. Have a very tasty lunch before shopping.

10. Boring my son to death while uncharacteristically spending over an hour in Anthropology.

11. Being out voted on walking home so we crowd into a cab.

12. Being made fun of for my Justin Timberlake ring tone (it’s the baby calling, schools over for the day, “when are you coming home”)?

13. Handing the phone off so she can talk to her older sister.

14. Strewing shopping bags and putting feet up while enjoying the Chicago skyline view out of her 26th floor apartment window.

15. Freshening up for our night out, “lets see how much of a ruckus we can raise” blitz of the Fulton River District neighborhood.

16. Phone call from lawyer who now has my cell phone due to it being left in cab, rendezvous options discussed.
17. Stroll over to Carnivale around 5 p.m. Their web site is definitely worth perusing. Bold neuvo Latino cuisine and wildness abounds, just not at 5 p.m.

18. Patio, overlooking Fulton Ave and I-94, tres (3) margaritas, ceviche (tuna tiradito) which featured tuna, jimica, serrano chile and avacado( delicioso) were consumed for about an hour and a half while waiting on previously mentioned lawyer who has my phone to call us. Watching the street we couldn’t help notice when a wine distributor pulled up with a trunk full of vino in a space pack type set up. I guessed he was Czechoslovakian. I then had to sit through a mini lecture (from my smart cookie who majored in Russian and Eastern European History at University of Michigan) on how that is a misnomer. You can be Czech or Slovac, not both. So he was Slovac, very mysterious in his behavior I thought. We made fun of the waiters we had with their super short ties which looked utterly retarded.

19. Bathroom at Carnivale. It’s way too early in the evening to have a crowd but they have a restroom attendant in there, which is something that really creeps me out in a bathroom with no other patrons peeing. I also have learned to budget every dollar in this recession/Michigan depression thing so I don’t want to pay a buck to use the potty when I’m paying a premium price already for my drinks and appetizers.

20. Daughter in the meantime has met up with phone nabbing lawyer. Turns out he was a little socially inept in face to face communication, but I am grateful he grabbed the wayward cell phone out of the taxi and went out of his way to get it back to me.

21. $160 later we sashay ourselves down Fulton Ave into the Fulton Market district to do a little bar hopping. Do guys sashay? I don’t want to misrepresent the prince. He accompanied us on our sashay and it was a beautiful evening.

22. Upon exiting the restaurant I spied an Audi RS4 parked out front for exactly what it is: a undisputed example of automotive heroin. 0-60 in 4.5 seconds, it’s stupidly fast. To quote The Truth About Cars, “Audi has used every trick in the playbook to get the RS4 to handle near perfectly. There are not enough superlatives to properly describe the vulgar joy of an RS4”. I got the Smart Cookie (aka Princess #1) to lick it. I asked the Prince to lick it but he’s tired of my shenanigans and refused to cooperate.

23. On to Publican we went. This place just fascinated me from the moment we walked to it. First of all it’s on the edge of the West Loop, a neighborhood still a bit sparse and on the gritty side. We decided to make a pit stop at their unique bathroom set up. Tall, solid wood doors open to each private compartment. Once you are done with your business you exit and wash your hands at a circular troth type set up.
24. On entry into the restaurant proper we were ushered to these VERY PRACTICAL tall round tables that featured hooks for your purse (or pocketbook for you southern belles) and a shelf underneath for anything else you might be toting (like a sweater). How cool is that ???? Then our cute waitress introduced me to their bar area specialty, #1 was oysters to which I said “ no thank you”. Then she went on about how they featured ham at this smoke house type venue in the meatpacking district of Chicago. Did you say HAM?

I love ham. No kidding. I just endured weird ceviche (with sushi grade tuna slices instead of all diced up) at our last stop. I was so excited, I’ll take the HAM sampler and a vodka/soda. Turns out this establishment is owned by the chefs of renowned West Loop restaurants Avec and Mockingbird. I was disappointed by the razor thin sliced ham when I was expecting a southern style slab of moist ham. We ate it anyway and I was accused of annoying the snot out of everyone with my picture taking.

25. Last stop for the night was La Sardine, across from Harpo studios, for a night cap. Only I did not need a night cap, I was way past my middle aged drinking capacity for the evening. I inquired about a Chocolate martini, but they didn’t do them here. What kind of a place did you bring me to? I ordered some water and my companions insisted on ordering the famous Le Queue de Boeuf (braised oxtails with potato gnocchi). After a long wait it arrived to our place at the dark polished wood bar and it struck me as HILARIOUS. I have no idea why, but I laughed so hard at the mini sized bowl of yumminess that I couldn’t even operate the camera.

26. Begrudgingly we called it a night. Smart Cookie had a whole day of class in the morning and I had a Saturday evening plan I had to be home in time for. Did I say how great it is to just be able to WALK home after a night out?

27. The next morning we all made it out of the apartment on time. I started my mad dash of a drive home. I have to admit I was zipping along the Indiana Tollway (seriously, are we really to believe the speed limit is 55?) Third car in a pack of 4 we were cruising 75-80 when we came around a curve to the left to see a State Trooper. My heart sunk and I slowed down and got in the middle lane and sure enough here he comes with lights flashing. He pulled over the pickup that was at the head of my pack and then made these funny hand signals to some of the other cars to pull over. He can’t possibly mean me, can he? I motor on while silently practicing my dumb blond stay at home mom act in case another trooper is called to catch up with me. Slick on some plum brandy lipstick with a top coat of Philosophy Kiss Me lip gloss, change my CD to some cheerful contemporary christian music and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

28. Stop holding my breath when I cross the Michigan border. Stop at Culver’s at exit 32 for a bathroom break and some root beer. Pry the really pretty but dead as a doornail bird out of my front bumper with my nail file (then threw it all away) so my girls won’t have kittens when I pull into the drive way in 2 hours.

29. Give about 5 seconds of thought to back tracking to take a picture of a highway directional sign that advertised “VIP lounge & massage” for a truck stop. That’s got to be a good blog story right there, but I’m too focused on my mission to turn around.

30. After one slight traffic back up I pull into my driveway on schedule and promptly unload my bags into my house because that is just the way I like to operate. It's about 3:45 p.m.

That my friends, is how it is done.